


before a monster is a monster

by thimble



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Character Study, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 12:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12013182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thimble/pseuds/thimble
Summary: You're not lonely. You want a fight, you want revenge, and what you want, more than anything else, is purpose.Because what you really want is a king, and that's the problem, isn't it?





	before a monster is a monster

you're not lonely.

you get it. it's an easy mistake to make. other people have friends, loved ones, people whose backs they'd protect and would protect theirs in turn.

you have: guardians (prison wardens) who raised (weaponized) you, and watch over you (kept you on a tight leash 'for your own good.') speaking in terms of parents, you have no one else but al thamen, a collection of faces who have orders to give you but not love, never love, and no one but gyouken, who smiles like a mother and speaks like anything but.

you have: a royal family whose members you can tolerate in various degrees. kougyoku, who grins and pouts in your presence at your whims, the only one who seems to see you as judal-chan first, and magi second. hakuryuu, who looks at you with suspicion and curiosity both, as if taking your hand will bring forth grief and ruin. (you don't blame him. it probably will.)

you have: yourself, and the power thrumming like a city of its own underneath your skin.

but you're not lonely. that implies that you're looking for companionship, and what you want runs deeper than that. you want a fight, you want revenge (though the days you can admit it to yourself are few and far between), and what you want, more than anything else, is purpose.

you  _don't_  have: a king, and that's the problem, isn't it?

 

* * *

  
  
you thought it could have been sinbad. once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away, you thought sinbad could have been your king in shining metal vessels. you could have granted his wish of power unparalleled, of countless wars won and kingdoms crushed like ants under his thumb. you could have been by his side, with him having you at his behest and you happier for it.

you could have given him the world on a golden platter, but yours and sinbad's desires have never quite aligned.

what he wants is the best for sindria, and haven't you heard of anything more quaint, more boring?

you feed him half-lies and you see his face contort into something like sympathy. he speaks your name like maybe he could save you, and haven't you heard of anything more knee-slapping, belly-aching hilarious?

"you really are a good person!" you laugh as his expression darkens, though of course you know otherwise.

(the truth is that sinbad, at his core, is already corrupted beyond saving. there's no more room for your influence here.)

 

* * *

 

as it turns out, all you ever needed to do was wait.

it takes a while, but in time hakuryuu ripens—or rots, the difference matters little to you—enough to take your hand. he curses his destiny and you're there to tell him which words to use.

what he wants (retribution) and what you want (a rewrite) are not the same, but he takes your hand and just like that he's yours, as you are his.

before a kingdom, you must conquer belial. upon entering the dungeon you're separated, and somehow aladdin is with you, your past unfolding before your eyes like a theater in reverse.

aladdin says, you can join us.

aladdin says, you can leave al thamen behind.

what aladdin is saying, at the heart of it, is that you can change.

you think that might have been true, when you were younger and stupider, when you didn't know the circumstances that made you a pawn by people you haven't chosen. there's no greater insult as a magi, didn't they understand?

the rest of them—scheherazade, yunan, even aladdin—got to choose how to live their lives and who deserved their allegiance. you were robbed of the decision, and isn't that why you're so desperate?

why did it have to be you?

you have: nothing but this anger that dictates your every move, and against all odds you found the one person whose twisted desires mirror your own.

hakuryuu kills the image of his sister and of the fanalis girl he used to adore, and your smile rivals the sun. hakuryuu falls into depravity and you think what you're feeling is greater than happiness.

it's ecstasy.

you're not lonely, but you're a magi; you weren't made to be alone.

hakuryuu takes your hand, and your grin is delirious, your insides drunk on the fire of what this all means.

"i will make you into a king," you say, and the taste of it is almost sweet on your tongue, like peaches, like the world bowing at your feet.


End file.
